Why did the author initially refuse to visit the saint Pir Maulana in Bandra?

In Chapter 21, the narrator, who was serving as a Magistrate in Bandra, explains his initial reluctance to visit the famous Siddha, Pir Maulana. Despite being constantly urged by the saint's servant, the narrator harbored feelings of ego, questioning why he should be pressured by others and fearing he might 'lose my own prestige'. He directly attributes this avoidance to his own 'ill-luck,' stating that 'One fears one's own shadow when ill-luck stands in the way.' This personal anecdote serves to illustrate the chapter's broader theme that one cannot encounter saints until good fortune dawns and God's grace is present, which for the narrator, happened only years later when he formed a bond with Shirdi.