What was the narrator's internal reaction to Baba's instructions for Sathe, and what might this reveal?

While Baba was explaining the benefits of reading the Guru Charitra and instructing Sathe to do another Parayana, the narrator, who was massaging Baba's feet, experienced a moment of internal conflict. Chapter 18 reveals that the narrator was filled with wonder and stirring thoughts, questioning how Sathe could receive such a spiritual reward with what seemed like little effort—a single seven-day reading—while the narrator had served for years. This moment highlights the human tendency to compare one's spiritual journey to others and question the distribution of grace, revealing that even devoted followers can grapple with such complex thoughts.