What was Dev's state of mind after the Udyapan, and how did he express his feelings of disappointment?

After the Udyapan ceremony, Dev was in a state of delusion and doubt. According to the account in Chapter 40, even though three uninvited guests had come and eaten, it never occurred to him that one of them was Baba in disguise. He felt disappointed and believed Baba had broken his promise to attend. Dev expressed these feelings of being deceived and let down in a letter he wrote to Jog. In the letter, he lamented his lack of a spiritual experience and questioned why Baba's assurance to come had "turned out otherwise," highlighting his deep confusion and sense of being wronged by the Master he sought refuge with.