In Chapter 49, the author seems conflicted about writing. Why did he feel it was better to be silent, but then decide to write the Satcharita anyway?

In Chapter 49, the author, Hemadpant, initially expresses that silence is the most fitting praise for the Sadguru, whose greatness is so vast that even the Vedas and Puranas grew weary of describing Him. However, he couldn't remain quiet because each of Sai's qualities compelled him to speak. He was driven by a desire to share this spiritual "feast" with other devotees, believing that sharing bliss doubles it. Ultimately, the chapter reveals that it was Sai Baba Himself who was the true inspiration. Hemadpant states that Sai prompted him to start the Satcharita, gave him remembrance of the stories at the right time, and essentially used him as an instrument to get His own book written.