How did Balasaheb Deo's attempts to read the Dnyaneshwari contrast with his other reading habits, and what internal conflicts did he experience?

Balasaheb Deo's difficulty with the Dnyaneshwari was unique and contrasted sharply with his other reading. Chapter 41 explains that while other books could be read regularly without issue, his resolution to read the Dnyaneshwari would not hold without interruption. This wasn't due to a lack of desire, but rather an internal conflict. When he would take the Dnyaneshwari in hand, doubts would arise in his heart, causing the reading to feel superficial and preventing a sense of love or connection to the text. Even when he took a three-month leave from work, this specific spiritual practice remained unfulfilled, highlighting a deep-seated obstacle that his own willpower could not overcome.