Despite taking a three-month leave for rest and spiritual pursuits, why was Balasaheb Deo still unable to read the Dnyaneshwari?

Even after taking a three-month leave and going to Shirdi and his home in Ponda, Balasaheb Deo could not fulfill his desire to read the Dnyaneshwari. Chapter 41 explains that the issue was not a lack of time, as he was able to read other books regularly. The problem was internal; whenever he took the Dnyaneshwari in hand, doubts would arise in his heart. This caused the reading to feel superficial and prevented a genuine love for the text from developing within him. This lack of inner connection and enthusiasm meant his resolution could not be sustained.