Can you explain the specific vow Balasaheb Deo made regarding the Dnyaneshwari and why he felt it was necessary?

After repeatedly failing in his attempts to read the Dnyaneshwari regularly, Balasaheb Deo became very distressed. Chapter 41 details that he made a firm and faithful resolve. He decided he would not attempt to read the Dnyaneshwari again until Sai Baba himself provided the love for the text and gave him a direct order to begin. He felt this was necessary because, despite his strong personal desire, some internal or external obstacle always prevented him from succeeding, leading him to believe that only a divine push from his Guru could overcome this persistent block in his spiritual practice.